Thank You

I’d like to say a big thank-you to everyone who responded to my last blog post, everyone who has supported OH and I during this miscarriage in whatever way, and everyone who is thinking of us or praying for us in private. I really do appreciate this and for me it makes the difference between an intolerable situation, and a difficult one that I can get through.

When I wrote my last post, I was upset about a Facebook status that had only received one reply. I was feeling quite raw about this at the time and I may not have expressed myself clearly, so I want to say that it wasn’t meant to be accusatory. If you didn’t see the status or didn’t feel able to reply for whatever reason, please don’t feel that you have done something wrong. My pain had more to do with the general effects of grieving, and my frustration at the way miscarriage is often not acknowledged in our society, than with any feeling that specific people had let me down.

Many people have said that it is difficult to find the right words, that nothing they could say seems adequate for the situation. I want you to know that there are no ‘right’ words, but that anything along the lines of “I’m sorry for your loss” will be appreciated. There is probably no magical insight that can make it all better, but just hearing or being shown – it doesn’t have to be verbal – that people care helps me to get through this.

If you are thinking of or praying for us in private, but haven’t felt able to communicate this, I do still really appreciate your thoughts and prayers. It would be even better if you could reach out to me or OH in some way, but I do understand that some people are just not comfortable with that.

Again, thank you all so much, and I hope I haven’t seemed too ungrateful or unappreciative in my grief. x

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7 thoughts on “Thank You

  1. I did not respond to your last post because I was away over the weekend and did not see it until just know, but I want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I know several women who have had miscarriages, including my mum. It is a horrible thing.
    Some churches do do memorial services for babies lost in this way. This might be a helpful thing for you or it might not. I don’t know.
    Since I am near you I could visit you if you thought it would help, but I undertsand that you probably need some peace at this time.
    Good luck. xx

    • Thanks. I know that Saying Goodbye (sayinggoodbye.org.uk) are doing a couple of services in our area at around the time the baby would have been due, and I’d like to go to one of those. I haven’t thought about whether an individual memorial service would be helpful, but it’s something to consider. It also helped that babies who have miscarried were remembered among the dead at our All Souls service this year. 🙂

      It might be nice to meet up some time. I’ll have a think about this and let you know.

      Thanks so much for your support. xx

  2. I completely understand how you’re feeling. I felt like people not saying anything because they didn’t know the “right thing” to say was selfish… I felt like they were avoiding being uncomfortable, when they should have been reaching out instead. Anyways, I understand, and your feelings are completely justified. I’m thinking of you both.

  3. I’m coming to the story a little late, but I wanted to extend love and hugs. I’ve never been in your situation so I can’t fully understand the situation, but my mom had several miscarriages and her heart wrenching tales are enough for me to know how much this impacts a persons life. XX

  4. I am so so sorry you are going through this. Loss, even early loss, sucks so much and it is so painful. I don’t wish it upon anyone. You have been in my thoughts and prayers quite a bit lately, and I hope that you can start down the road to healing soon.

    On a slightly brighter note, I nominated you for the Liebster Blog award. You can see it on my blog 🙂

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